“I can’t go on,” she cried, first to herself and then to the world around her. She was desperate. She had lost all idea of hope.

It seemed that everywhere she turned she was met with a brick wall. North, South, East and West, only brick walls.  She felt caged in a tiny room with barely enough room to swing a rabbit. The walls contained no windows in which she could see out of. There were no doors and no way out. Just a closed in room, where she believed she would eventually die. Each day the walls seemed to move inwards, getting closer and closer to her. Each day she therefore felt more trapped and claustrophobic. There was no way out above, below or to the sides of her. Where was she to go? What was the point of continuing in this nonsensical existence?

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“I know,” she thought. “I will end it all now. What have I got to look forward to but greater fear and anxiety as my world becomes ever smaller? If I take something or take an irreversible action, at least it will be over and done with. I’ll finally have peace. I will no longer have to battle through each minute of every day. That’s my way out. It is the only way out that I can make out from this tiny, dark, cramped and claustrophobic existence. When I’m gone, everyone can be alright again.

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Most have no idea that I feel this way, and I know it might be a shock to many. But they are not the ones that have to live in this hell hole. For surely this is hell. A place of no hope, of no light and of no reason for existing. It is the darkest place one can imagine. Not even the flicker of light coming through under the door, bringing hope. For here there are no doors or cracks in the walls of any kind. Only a cold, dark, hard room.

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“I can’t go on living in this place,” she cried one final time as if crying out in her silent way would make any difference. Who was she hoping might hear? Her family and friends could no longer help her so who else could help her?

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“I can help you,” a voice was heard within her. “I can find a way out of this bleak, desolate place. But you will have to first believe me when I tell you that you are never alone, never, ever alone. There is always one guarding you and wanting the very best for you.

You are indeed trapped currently and can see no way out, but you must believe that even in utter darkness, there are stars. Those stars may be many light years away and all you might make out is the faintest and tiniest spark of light, but those stars are there. There is no place, not even caged in a four walled prison, where light cannot enter. You may not be able to see it in the natural, with your eyes, but you can if you instead look through the eyes of your heart, soul and spirit.

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Your spirit can see the light that emanates from those who watch over you and are committed to bringing you through the fiercest of storms or the most desolate of circumstances. Only they can see the way out or through and so you must place your very life in their hands. Each person has a Guardian Angel, one who’s been assigned to take care of them and be the deliverer of hope in their darkness. However, many cannot see them with their earthly eyes and can only detect them with their spiritual eyes.

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For everyone has a spirit, a spirit that is connected to a world and hope beyond this one. The Spirit is never left alone to cope on its own, not even for a microsecond. There is always one who accompanies them, bringing meaning, sustenance, perspective and always hope and new life-giving opportunities.

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When one seems to be living as a dead person, it is hard to believe that one will ever be able to truly live or even desire to live again as a well, whole, and alive person. Yet there is always a way through death into new life. Our eyes might not be able to discern it but our hearts, spirit and souls can.

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So, I want you to listen to me really carefully, because what you are contemplating is not the answer, for it brings death not only to you, but to the door of others. You cannot be held responsible for how others choose to live their lives, but you can choose to bless them even now, by not ending your life prematurely. That one incredible act of bravery will mean that many of those around you will be spared feelings of terrible remorse, guilt, sadness, anger and depression, were you to go before your time. They may never know the incredible gift you’ve given them, but heaven will and for eternity you will know that your bravery had eternal consequences for the good. What a gift that is and what a heroic, self-sacrificing gesture you will have made. In choosing to battle through one more day, each and every one of those who love or know or need or admire or want you in their lives will be blessed through your courage and your ability to continue doing the right thing, even in agonizing and terrible circumstances. That bravery might never be acknowledged or even known of in your life here on Earth. However, it will be both known of and honoured in your next life in heaven.

As you sit in your dark cell having lost all hope of ever again being free to enjoy life, a plan is in place to rescue you. Many have been tasked with freeing you but it may not be today or even tomorrow. It might be next week, next month or even next year. So how can you keep going until help arrives?

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By giving up all thoughts of there never ever being a way out of this terrible darkness. Just because you can’t see it or make it out doesn’t mean that it isn’t there waiting to be discovered. Therefore, all you can do is to get through today and then get through tomorrow.

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Within every day there are keys that you can find which, when held and gathered together will eventually open doors that you can’t even begin to imagine are there, taking you to freedom. So, your task each day must be to believe that by the end of the day you will have in your hands one or two keys which will, at the right time, release you from your living hell and take you on a new road and path to freedom. You must believe that good things are there each and every day offering you lit candles of hope that you can sit by and draw strength from in your darkness. The candles will eventually run out of light, but not before the next lit candle has been brought to you and then another and then another. Those tiny candles will bring you great comfort and instead of peering past them into the thickness of the darkness, try to see something of worth that can only be seen in the rays of the candle’s flame.

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There are no quick escape routes from places as dark as these but you must know that you’re not alone. There is a plan to help you and release you but you must hang on. You must hope against hope. You must push through and endure as never before. For no one lives in darkness forever. For as surely as there is night time, it is forever followed by the day and daylight. This too will pass. This season must eventually end and a new, brighter one come along. These are the rules of the universe. See these truths with your own eyes. Nothing lasts forever. Absolutely nothing. No circumstance. Nothing. Only God who is in all things.

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God is light. A light that never goes out. This is where the light can be found in your darkness. Ask the light to surround you and stream into your mind’s darkness, revealing truth, hope and bringing it’s love and peace. There is no darkness that light cannot eradicate. Darkness only exists where there is an absence of light. Darkness has to retreat in the presence of light and not the other way round. Darkness might try to tell you that it cannot be defeated, but light a candle and witness the truth that it can be, with just one ray of light. This darkness and night time will not last forever. Daylight will stream back in soon, but sometimes it is darkest just before the dawn.

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Don’t give up hope even if you can’t make hope out at this moment. Hope is there with you in your darkness and will set you free one day at a time. Don’t look too far ahead. Look only at today, for today has enough worries of its own.

One day this place will be far behind you. You will have escaped from it’s cruel clutches, trying to keep you in its darkness. What you will have learnt will and can never, ever be taken away from you. Your bravery and courage will one day be both acknowledged and celebrated. You are not a failure or a has been. There is a good and satisfying and rich life waiting for you over the hill. Just because you cannot see beyond the hill doesn’t mean that it is not there. It just means you need to make a journey to reach it.

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You can do this. You can overcome. You can breakthrough. You can win. You can come out the other side stronger, wiser and more able to live a good, healthy and wholesome existence and life. Just take one day at a time. Collect the keys that today has for you, knowing that eventually they will open the bolted doors and windows which seem unbreakable. Light will appear, even in a room where no doors or windows seem to exist. There is nothing that darkness can do to keep hold of you when light is coming to set you free. Remember this, for it is truth.

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It is now your choice as to what to do next. But you are not alone or on your own. Take the hand of life and refuse to let it go until it has delivered you into its home of fullness and well being. These things are as much for you as for any other person on the planet. Don’t ever believe that a full and purposeful life is only for others, for that is not truth. Life has as many gifts for you as for anyone. Simply ask her and be prepared to receive all she has to offer.”

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