Sometimes it seems too hard to live with all of one’s losses, grieving and wounds and therefore death seems the only way out. But is death the answer?

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Suicidal thoughts come when we feel trapped in a darkness that there appears to be no way out of. Life seems like an insurmountable obstacle or mountain that we no longer have any strength to get around or over. We are weary with trying. We are despondent with life. There seems absolutely no point in continuing. Reason, logic and guilt - we hear them all speaking as dear friends to us. Yet there is one speaking louder and clearer than all of these and this is death himself.

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Death comes selling his wares, promising us peace, rest and an end, where we no longer have to struggle or exist or cope. He tells us that what he offers is freedom, eternal freedom from this dark, dark place in which we reside. Whilst other voices try to offer us hope of a good life here, he offers to take us on a journey to the next life, death.

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At times, death seems like the only friend who understands our need to never wake up again or to have to face all the people, places and circumstances, which have driven us into his arms. Death is the only one encouraging us to get off the world and begin again with him. He is very tempting. He seems to understand. He’s not telling us to try harder or to keep struggling on. Instead, he offers us a door through which the pain will finally end, and that appears very appealing.

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However, when death comes early to our door and tries to make us believe he has all the answers to our problems, he has not been sent by Heaven, who only ever sends death when the time set by Heaven is at its zenith. When death comes prematurely, it is because he can’t wait for us, because he knows that, should we live, our lives will offer something of real worth and beauty to this world. Death is jealous that we can still bring life, when death has no real life to bring or give, for he is death. All death can do is to end life. With death there can be no further life.

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And what is death? It is nothingness. It is nonexistence. There is no way out of death. There is only darkness. There is no longer any light, no longer any hope. No joy. Nothing. That is all that death can offer.

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What we need instead of nothing is something. The first thing we need is hope. Death seems to offer us the hope of annihilation, but annihilation means that we will never ever dream again or be loved again. We will never ever see the sun come up or stare up into a moonlit and star filled sky. We will never again feel the warmth of the sun on our cheeks or the caress of the waves of the sea on our feet. We will never be able to laugh again or cry again or be held and comforted again. All these are as much a part of life as it should be, as the people, places and circumstances that we are running from.

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Death seems to offer us rest and a reprieve from this prison sentence called life. However, death comes enticing us with his wares when we are at our lowest and most vulnerable. He knows that those who are happy and content and have a purpose, wouldn’t give him a second glance, for he offers them nothing of interest and worth. Instead, he preys on those in the darkest of places, for death is darkness. He knows that those who still enjoy and value the light would send him away with a flea in his ear.

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To those in darkness, he offers to swallow them up and hold them forever. He tells them that light is no longer for them and that there is not one thing left in the world of light that they need, want or desire and that he now is the only one who has anything of real worth to offer them.

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But death is a liar, for who in their right mind, would choose forever darkness over even a few more days, weeks, months or years of light? In the light there is life that can never be found in the darkness. There is colour. There is hope. There is beauty. There are living beings and animals and insects. There is movement. There are the seasons. There is life.

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What have we got to lose by accepting one more day of life over death? Give yourself another week or month of life over death. Send death packing. Tell him that he offers so little except for reprieve.

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Tell death that you will take your reprieve, not in the land of the dead but in the land of the living. You will find a safe place, a loving place, a nurturing place, which will hold you, love you and take care of you, until your poor mind has a chance to rest and regain its hope and perspective. You will find a place that offers you light and not darkness. A place that encourages you to keep living and hoping, for life knows that nothing remains forever and that this too will pass.

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Find people, places and circumstances that can provide a light in your darkness, instead of death who can only ever offer you even more darkness.

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Your soul longs for life. It is your mind and body that are struggling. Let your soul lead you to still waters, where you might hear life call to you once more, over the shrieks of death. It will be in the quiet, silent, still places and people where you will once again begin to hear the beautiful melodies that only life can sing over you. She often speaks more gently, kindly and sympathetically and could be drowned out by the voices of Doom and Hopelessness. Find a still place where you can listen to the voice of life and light and hope.

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If she speaks any negative thoughts or words, then this is an impostor, probably death, again trying to woo you. Silence death during this time. Refuse to listen to any of his words. Tell him to go away and leave you alone. Find some way you can still feel beauty and hope. It might be in a meadow or by the banks of a river or walking along beside the ocean. It might be on top of a hill or lying under the night sky. Anywhere, where life abounds.

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Be cautious of people, for they will try to pull you in different directions. However, if you know of one who will just silently be there with you and they feel safe, then head there. The main point of this time is that you can once again hear the voice of life and living telling you how precious you still are and will always remain. How she will look after and take care of you and bring you through and out the other side of this darkness, one day at a time. To not look too far ahead, but to try and find something of beauty or worth, each and every day.

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You are sick and it will take time to heal and recover. You need rest but not the rest that death offers but that life does. Find rest for your body, your mind, your spirit and your soul. Sit in a quiet church or by a gentle stream and cry out to the loving God that made you and loves you more than life itself. Ask him or her to take you by your hand and take you on a path that leads back to a full and meaningful life. If there is nowhere else you can go, go here, to your heavenly father and mother, who always listen and know what you need, every second of the day or night. God is light and so you will never walk away without having been given the gift of light and light always enables greater sight in darkness.

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You are not alone. As much as death entices you, life also wants to embrace you once more. Death won’t want to go away until he has you, but life too will battle for you, for you are incredibly precious to her.

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Choose life, not death, my dearest friend. I did so many years ago and I’ve found an incredible life which I never believed could be possible, and which never would have been, if I had walked with death to wherever he might have taken me.

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Try to listen for the melodies of life that can never be heard from death. If you shut the door on death, it will mean you can begin to once more see the gifts that life brings. As long as you entertain your future with death, he will ensure that you are kept away from light and life.

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He is like a persistent salesman who will only go away when you make him and show him that he has nothing of worth to offer you. Even if you can only dance with life for an hour or two a day or a week or a month, he will see that he is losing his grip on you and will eventually tire of wooing you. As you dance with life, you may find that once more you are brought gifts which will enable you to walk free from whatever is imprisoning you at the moment.

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Remember nothing last forever and this too will pass and you will find a way through.

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